Stepford Snarker
by Deathly Betrayal
Summary: Please don't leave me. I'm sorry. /Continuation of Stepford Smiler


**A/N) Hello again. This is a companion fic to 'Stepford Smiler'. However, you don't need to look at that to understand this one. It's just suggested. c:**

**Please note that the topic of this fanfiction jumps around. A lot. :p Sorry. **

* * *

**. o : Stepford Snarker : o .**

* * *

...I miss my dad.

It's so, so stupid. He never really cared for me, actually, and never really understood how I felt. But, he was the one who had taught me how to kill and had been an actual parent to me. I never had a mother, because I never knew her. She left before I could even see. He tried his best, really. But sometimes a person's best just isn't enough, is it?

It's just a family thing, though. But after three hundred years - three hundred - of being hung in the seal, over a void that would send us to a parallel dimension, with Luminous by my side after I had pushed him in and seeing him suspended in a different section hurt. I left my dad, and I regret it, but if Luminous wanted to leave, so be it.

I never realized that I would get so god damned attached. That was why I wanted to protect Sunfire so badly. I didn't want Sunfire to feel the loneliness I had felt whenever my father left me alone in the house. He was just born, not knowing the world around him, and acted like I was his older brother. I wanted to be the best I could, just for him.

And I lost him. I lost my temper when he had done something I didn't approve of, and I regret it. And now I can't apologize - I can't. It's just how I am. I can have guilt brewing inside me, I can want to say sorry however much I want - but I can't actually carry it out. It just hurts because of that, really. I don't think Sunfire likes me anymore.

It doesn't matter anymore and it hurts and excuses run through my brain and - no. He's old enough. He'll understand, hopefully. He won't care, and I'm restricting him from growing properly. I'll have to stop protecting him. He has to learn how to do that himself, I'm just restricting his precious growth like my dad did me -

I'm letting you go and it hurts so god damned much. I'll tell Libra to look after you. Libra'll understand, and he won't lose his temper like I did. I'm sorry, but this needs to be done. You won't need me anymore, after this. You won't need me, and I won't need you. I don't need you. I can't need you.

See, I want to protect you all over again. It's stupid how soft I am inside, don't you think? It's god damned pathetic. It's god damned pathetic about how much I care for you. I'll get Libra. You don't need me. He's not as strong as me when his powers aren't activated, but he's enough. You don't need as much protection anymore.

I'm scared. I don't want to admit this at all, but to be honest... I'm really, really scared.

You came crying today. I wanted to comfort you so god damned badly, but I don't think you knew how I felt. I kept a straight face, but when you begged me to talk to you I simply snapped back. Libra glared at me. He should have understood. I told him what was going on and he should know.

I'm just going to put up this disguise. It won't be part of me. It won't matter. It's just a fake self. I just hope it doesn't actually become me, because it's not who I really am. Sunfire, I'm sorry for acting this way.

My heart hurt when you sobbed and turned away. I want to walk over to you, to comfort you, and I know you feel the same, that you want me to help. But I - I turned away. I'm not going to help you anymore. I'm restricting your growth, and I don't want that to happen. I'm sorry.

You hate me now, don't you? Don't be like this. I love you, a whole lot, but don't act this way. I'm sorry. I can't protect you. I'm not as strong as Libra can be. I'm not Libra, and I never will be, and well... He'll be more caring to you, and he'll never snap back.

He won't be like what I did. I was wrong when I argued with you, and I don't want to admit it, but I was wrong.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Libra yelled at me. I stare back vacantly, unable to respond, and he glares at me and raises his staff. It was then that I knew he was serious. Luminous had granted him the power for a few seconds for him to use his full powers, over and over. "Tell me. Haven't you seen how much Sunfire has been crying?"

"I don't care," I spit out, keeping a nonchalant expression on my face. Libra glares at me for a while longer, before lowering his staff. My heart ached with the lie that I had just uttered, but I don't take it back. "I don't care about that stupid light half. He's not strong enough for anyone."

"You weren't like this before. He said that he was fine, and hell if he is!" Libra yelled over his shoulder as he walked away. He was probably going to help Sunfire. I don't care. I don't care I don't care I don't care-

Everything I did was a lie. It was all a lie and it doesn't matter. Because no one cared, did they?

...Wow. Being sympathetic is so god damned pathetic, sometimes. And this time is one of those times. I hope to god that it doesn't happen again. You're part of me, aren't you? I can't exactly leave you, but I need to at the same time.

...Please don't leave me. I'm sorry.

* * *

**A/N) ...I hate myself now. **


End file.
